The man of tact will talk little about himself. He likes to hear the other man talk. Without seeming to be pugnacious or controversial, he says just enough on the other side of a question to give the other man the satisfaction of winning a victory. A tactful man lets himself be bested in an argument, if the matter is not a vital one, whenever he notes that his oppo nent's vanity would be wounded by defeat. Yet he is not always yielding. The "unanimous man," who is forever agreeing with you, gets on your nerves. In the long ru.n the palate likes best the sweets that contain a little sour.
The tactful man does not shake your band too long or too hard, does not insist on your sitting down if you prefer to stand, does not repeatedly urge you to go to lunch with him after you have once declined, but be makes you feel that be really wants your com pany. He makes no references to your losses or misfortunes, but if you refer to them you are certain that he is sympathetic and is not, like some pother people, holding you responsible for them.
The tactful man is an adept in the use of what the psychologists call "suggestion." When he is dealing with a blunt, callous, thick-skinned man he is usually blunt and direct himself, because the other fellow likes and is used to being dealt with in that manner ; but if he wishes to persuade such a man or bring him over to a new point of view, then his tact will make him approach his purpose indirectly thru suggestion.
There is in all of us a contrary streak, and when anybody tries to show us why we are in the wrong our intellect gets busy and sets up a defense which seems to us absolutely impregnable. Hence reason ing with a man sometimes only roots him more deeply in error. As the familiar saying goes "The man con vinced against his will is of the same opinion still." If you are a tactful man, you will bring the other fellow around 'to the desired conclusion so skilfully that he will think the idea is all his own and that he is telling you something quite new. Perhaps you will raise some objections and give him the joy of bat tering them down. Or if he is very contrary, or a bit hostile to you and your friends, you may take a hint from Benjamin Franklin's autobiography. Franklin wanted Philadelphia's first fire engine painted red, but he had many enemies and they were very jealous of his growing influence in the town; so when his advice was asked as to the color he said, "anything but red; I hate that color." The engine was promptly painted red.
One word more about tact, by way of warning. Pussy-footing is not tact. Tact has plenty of back bone. Tact is grounded in good-will and sympa thetic lmowledge of human nature. A pussy-footer, one who is all smiles, harmony and agreement, is a mental and a moral coward.