By self-control we mean simply the power to make the entire human machine do just what we would have it do, and nothing else. You do not enjoy the feeling of anger, but that feeling will rise in your heart unless you serve notice on the will that anger must not be admitted unless it brings a card of in troduction from the intellect. Such feelings as envy, jealousy and hate must be absolutely barred out, They are most disagreeable feelings and always in jure you more than they do the people against whom they are directed.
Perhaps you have a bad habit of speaking heed lessly and thoughtlessly and are therefore constantly obliged to correct yourself. Let your will clearly understand that the tongue must not act without the approval of the -intellect. In other words, you must learn to speak with deliberation.
Let the will know that temptations to excessive in dulgence in any kind of pleasure must be promptly denied. In danger, do not let yourself get excited, and in critical emergencies, do not let worry enter. Worry and excitement are enemies of clear thinking, and if you do not think clearly, your machine will in tirne be ditched.
Surely a young man who conscientiously seeks to get control of his own machine cannot fail to acquire personality and to increase the value of his services as a business man.
10. Knowledge and success ful business men must trust their own judgment. They are self-reliant. They have learned' their power and they know what they can do. In the conduct of their business they do not ask the advice of other people. If a totally new problem arises, they rapidly study all its phases and then make in stant decision. They know by experience that if they hesitate or ask advice, or deliberate too long, they will be lost.
Self-confidence is one of the essentials to business success. The man who possesses it 'in a high deg,ree has a perSonality which drives everything before it.
Self-confidence is based upon knowledge. A man must know his strength before lie can be certain of his ability to lift a given weight. So a man must know the difficulties lying in the path of his enterprise before he can possess confidence in his ability to over come them. Knowledge is the only sound basis of confidence.
Hence young business men seeking to strengthen their personality should devote a good part of their time to the study of business principles and practices. A youth who enters a bank and is content merely with the mastery of the task assigned to him will lack confidence in his ability to do the more difficult tasks higher up. But let him study finance, and learn all he can about banking operations in general, about credit, about bond and stock markets and.about for eign exchange, then the tasks of other employes of the. bank will appear to him in a new light and con fidence in himself will be born. He will discover that the men above him know but little more about their work than he does himself, and some indeed he may find will know even less.
( Sometimes we hear a college graduate say: "I do not know that I learned anything in college that has been of value to me, but I am sure it was worth while to go thru college, for it gave me confidence in myself."
In a way this view of the value of education is per fectly sound. Physicians say they are taught much in the medical schools which' they never expect to utilize, and law students pass examinations in many branches which will never possess any real value in their practice. But the young lawyer and the young doctor must have confidence in themselves, and that they cannot have if they suspect that their mental equipment is inadequate.
11. Self-confidence is 'not conceit.—This is a good place to note the great difference between conceit and self-confidence. Conceit is an enemy of success. It is a foolish and unproved belief in one's power or abil ity. Conceit rests, not upon knowledge, but upon vanity.
The man of supreme conceit acquires an odious personality. Men mistrust him,- for he cannot con ceal his conceit. Your truly self-confident man may be very modest and claim little for himself. He is satisfied to show his power by doing things. He has no fear at all of being under-estimated. But the con ceited man, knowing in his heart that he is really not what he pretends to be, unconsciously seeks to make himself seem very important. So he poses, throws out his chest, and is found out. ' The only remedy for conceit is knowledge, which niay be got only by study and thru experience.
12. Courtesy.—Of all the single qualities which may be made to lift a man above the crowd and so give him personality, courtesy would appear to be the one easiest to cultivate. If that is true, it is really remarkable that discourtesy is so often en countered in the world of business. In all our large cities one hears frequent complaint about the dis courtesy of salesmen and dealers. All intelligent business men know the importance of courtesy in dealing§ with customers, but they certainly have diffi culty finding employes equally wise. Many a retail business has been wrecked by the brusque, unoblig ing, critical and sometimes insolent attitude of clerks.
The essence of courtesy is regard for the feelings of the other fellow. Courtesy demands that you should be eager to save, the other fellow from dis itgreeable sensations and emotions; that you should not take advantage of his embarrassment, but should seek to make him feel at ease; that the tone of your voice should be pleasant and betray no irritation; that your clothing should be neat and in good taste; that you should not too vigorously urge the customer to buy something for which he does not seem inclined.
Let a young man cultivate cheerfulness, good man ners, easy but correct speech, cleanliness, and a good personal appearance without aiming at foppery or succumbing to conceit, and he will certainly achieve a very desirable and valuable form of personality, and at the same time he will be cultivating self-con fidence, will, and self-control. He will never be mis taken for a mollycoddle; if he always has in mind the comfort of the other fellow, he will never be too suave or too polite. A drop of honey sometimes is all right, but a bucketful is sickening.