When the manufacturer adopted the reader's point of view, he saw that the first paragraph failed to interest, and lacked any definite appeal to the reader's sense of self-interest. He saw clearly that the second paragraph appeared to be mere bragging, notwithstanding the attempt to connect the subject with the reader's welfare. He saw that the last state ment in the same paragraph was not only unneces sary, but that it might arouse sympathy in behalf of the local tailors. He saw that there is no connection between the size of the manufacturer's business and the necessity of giving satisfactory service, and that the mention of machinery might suggest machine made clothes. He realized that the guarantee of en tire satisfaction is so common nowadays that it has lost much of its original force, and that the "sympathetic" statement, "we know how disagreeable it is when a customer has to complain in order to get satisfac tory service," is not only unnecessary but harmful. Finally, the manufacturer also noticed how the words. "in fact," at the beginning of the fourth paragraph might suggest that the writer considered that he was doing something exceptional in offering an unqual ified guarantee. Such is the criticism which results when the reader's point of view is taken.
8. A successful sales a young man living in a small town receives, about four weeks before Easter, the following letter: Dear Sir: What will well-dressed young men wear four weeks from next Sunday? Two models will be preferred. Each of these is illustrated and described in the inclosed folder. Made to your measure, either model would be correct for you this spring and summer. These are the kind of conservatively up-to-date models which may be worn every day as well as on dress occasions.
If your order for your Easter suit reaches us before the end of this week, you may have an extra pair of trousers, striped or to match your suit, without extra charge. This offer is made in order to avoid part of the rush of orders just before Easter, when we follow our six-work-day delivery guaranty as usual.
We know that this announcement will give us an early start on our Easter rush, and we want you to be in on it. Please take this letter to Mr. Marshall Zombro, our agent in your town, and he will be glad to give you Fish SERVICE.
This letter does not sound very impressive, but it influenced twenty-eight out of the selected sixty young men to see Mr. Zombro before it was too late to take advantage of the special offer. Why? From the addressee's point of view, what is there in this ap peal which secured the desired results? In the first place, it is interesting. All the young men to whom the letter and the folder were sent were interested in the question of correct dress for Easter. Then, in
the folder were two excellent illustrations. Each young man imagined himself in the place of the young men in the illustrations—which were realistic, not exaggerated. The settings were typical, small-town street scenes on a bright Easter morning.
The letter is eloquent in what it suggests rather than in what it says. It does not attempt to persuade the addressee by means of words directly. Its strongest persuasion lies in its timeliness and in its special offer, made without the usual threat, "unless you take advantage of this offer right away, it will be too late and you will lose $10—lose it just the same as if you were to burn up a ten-dollar bill." In other words, it does not run the risk of insulting the young man by branding him as a bargain-bunter. Since there is a sufficient reason for the special offer, no urg ing is necessary, and because no pressure is brought to bear the reader is inclined to feel that he really ought to see Mr. Zombro. At least he will keep the letter, for it says, 'rake this letter to Mr. Marshall Zombro." He therefore keeps it and thinks about it, and the more he thinks, the more inclined he is to see Mr. Zombro. The success or the failure of any sales letter is proved, in end, by the results it accom plishes, and this letter influenced nearly 47 per cent of those who received it, to buy. Its excellence cannot be fully appreciated until it is studied from the reader's point of view.
9. Other types of ales letters were used as illustrations in the foregoing sections. But the principle of taking the reader's point of view applies with equal force to all other kinds of letters. the bookkeeper in a coal office writes the ' words "Thank you" somewhere on a receipted bill, and seems to emphasize unduly his gratitude by large script, what might be the effect on an addressee who happens to be somewhat sensitive, especially if the bill was paid somewhat past the date when it was due? It is possible that the reader might receive the impres sion that the bookkeeper's thankfulness was due to the fact that the payment was a delightful surprise to him. And the "Thank you" at the end of letters of request takes agreement for granted ; it is doubtful what the effect will be.
The following collection letter, which is often quoted, is interesting and will bear studying.
Dear Sir: "Huh! Another dunning letter! Those people needn't be so nervous. They'll get their money—some time." Did you think that, when you opened this letter?—No, don't toss it aside for consideration "tomorrow" ; just stop this time and consider US.