Marriage Customs

wife, woman, time, dower, dead, amount, bride, ceremony, temporary and wives

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Some peculiar customs in various races may be noticed. There is occasionally practised amongst Hindus of the Komati caste, the marriage of the Jiving and the dead, the principals being a living woman and a dead man. In one case the living woman and the dead man had lived to gether for many long years as man and wife, when, after suffering from a febrile attack for only four short days, the man died. Agreeably to the peculiar custom of their caste, it was im perative, ere the corpse could be removed for interment, that the sacred rites of matrimony should be performed. The sad intelligence was soon communicated to the neighbouring residents, and to a host of friends and acquaintances, and a fluctuating stream of passers-by. A guru or priest being summoned, and the necessary pre parations for the celebration of the nuptials being hurriedly completed, the ceremony commenced. The inanimate form was placed against the outer wall of the verandah of the house in a sitting posture, attired like a bridegroom, and the face and hands besmeared with turmeric. The woman also was clothed like a bride, and adorned with the usual tinsel ornament over the face, which, as well as the arms and the drapery, was daubed over with yellow. She sat opposite the dead, now addressing it with light and unmeaning words,—as is customarily done upon such occa sions,—and then chewing bits of dry cocoanut, and squirting it on the face. And thus the cere mony continued for three or four hours. At length, as the sun was nearing the horizon, the nuptial ceremony was brought to a close, and the preparation for the interment commenced. The head was divested of its bridal attire, then bathed, and finallylaid upon a bier, and coveredwith a cloth of silk. The face was next rubbed over with some red powder, and in the mouth were placed some betel leaves. The widowed bride then looked her last at the shrouded form of him whom never more she would behold, when, amid agonizing shrieks and deafening tom-tornming, the bier was lifted up, and the funeral cortege proceeded in the direction of Sion ; one man preceded the corpse, throwing at intervals a handful of pie to the right and left, which were eagerly picked up.

A Hindu mother-in-law is not permitted to appear before her son-in-law ; to do so would •be deemed scandalous.

In China, Borneo, and the Fiji Islands, a father in-law after his son's marriage never again visits his daughter-in-law, and if they chance to meet, he hides himself. In Australia, a man must not pronounce the name of his father-in-law, mother in-law, or son-in-law. The Muhammadans of Western Asia indicate their wives as the mothers of their sons. No Hindu or Malay woman can be induced to pronounce her husband's name.

The Aleutian islander, says Mr. Ferrer, quoting Da11, knows nothing of what civilised nations call modesty, yet he blushes when he is obliged to speak to his wife, or to ask her for anything in the presence of others. Custom compels them to assume the attitude of perfect strangers. The Hottentot woman may never enter her husband's room in the hut, and the husband, as among the Spartans, must never be seen in the neighbour hood of the wife. Among the Yoruba, an African tribe, a woman is forbidden to speak to her hus band, and may not even see him if it can possibly be avoided. Apparently a similar custom existed among the early Sanskrit-speaking peoples, for the wife, in the famous story of Urvasi and Puru ravas, says to her lord, Never let me see thee without thy royal garments, for such is the manner of women.' And when this rule is accidentally broken, Urvasi must softly and suddenly vanish away.

A Circassian bridegroom must not see his wife nor live with her without the greatest mystery ; and Fiji islanders display the utmost distress of mind when adventurous missionaries suggest that there is no real harm in a man's living under the same roof with his wife. The young Kaneka bolts

with a wild scream into the bush if you even mention the name of his sister ; while in Fiji not only brothers and sisters, but first cousins of opposite sexes, may neither eat together nor speak to each other.

Among .11-1uhamniadans there is only one legal ceremony, the Nikkah, by the kazi or his deputy, but there are several deviations from it. In Persia and India their Nikkah ceremony is with rejoicings or Shadi, if the bride be a spinster and of equal rank with the bridegroom ; their Mutai marriage is for a limited time in consideration of a present, and the Nikkah-i-Muwakkat is a temporary mar riage. According to the Sunni ruling, the off spring of the Mutai and the Nikkah-i-Muwakkat are illegitimate. The Sunni say a usufructuary marriage, i.e. where a man says to a woman, I will take the use of you for such a time for so much,' is void ; so also is a temporary marriage (e.g. a marriage for ten days), whether for a short or for a long time ; but it is one of the points on which the Shiahs differ from them. A verse of the Koran has been interpreted by the Shiahs as warranting such a temporary marriage ; the Sunnis have come to a different and certainly a more moral interpretation. Kings and great men have occasionally availed themselves of the diverse views of the different schools to obtain legal sanction for irregular practices. A king of Beder in the 15th century is described as com plaining to his Sunni lawyers of being limited to four wives, and desired to know how he might marry more. They pointed out that, although he could have only four at a time, he might divorce one wife and marry another as often as he pleased. This was not what he wanted ; so he addressed himself to a learned Shiah, who was present at his court. From him he obtained the opinion that a Mutai or temporary marriage was legal, and had been practised in the time of the prophet. Marriage carries with it rights of in heritance, and the dower settled upon the. wife ' may, and often does, interfere with the rights of the ordinary heirs. Dower is held to be the price promised or paid by the husband for possession of the wife's person. If unpaid, it is a debt on the husband's estate. It takes precedence of all claims by inheritance, and descends by inheritance to the wife's heirs. The amount of dower is entirely arbitrary, and varies according to the position in life, and the youth, beauty, and accomplishments of the bride. It is settled by the relatives of the contracting parties; but if a marriage has been agreed upon and the amount of dower is disputed, the magistrate has authority to determine the just amount. Divorce under the Muhammadan law may be effected at the mere will of the husband ; but a man cannot repudiate his wife without paying her dower ; so it frequently happens that a very ardent lover, or one willing to divest himself of the power of divorce, will agree to an amount of dower which it is quite impossible for him to discharge. From this there is no escape but payment, or remission on the part of the wile. A free man may not have more than four wives at the same time ; a slave may not have more than two. There is a long and well-defined table of Pro hibited Degrees, and this includes not only relations by blood, but, generally speaking, those also who stand in the same relation by fosterage. Free persons cannot marry their own slaves, because parents have by law an equal right in their off spring, and this right is incompatible with the position of owner and slave.

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